I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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