Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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