Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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