Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
