Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
