whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
