I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
