My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
