i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
