it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
