Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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