cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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