Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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