I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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