I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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