i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
