I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
