I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
