you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
