he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
