did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
NoShamevember. You game?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
