I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
