you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
