bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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