I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
