he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
