That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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