ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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