kristin has been a bad kristin
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
