is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
