I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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