at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
