Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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