sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
