My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
