Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
