Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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