Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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