That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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