if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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