Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
