dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Fuck appropriateness.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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