They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
