It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
