it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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