Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize