i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
