So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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