i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
