Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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